This little piggy went to the market, this little piggy went home

This little piggy has toe nail fungus!

Oh stop it. It's not that big a deal. I've had it for 25 year. YEARS. My two first toes on each foot  look pretty bad, but it doesn't hurt, it isn't going to kill me, and it doesn't really bother me that much. OK it bothers me a little. They peel, they look kinda yucky, but it isn't like I'm growing a slab of Swiss cheese on each foot.

By the way, do not Google this one either, not when you've just eaten.  Some people seriously need to see a doctor.

While at the dermatologist (see post below), I thought I'd distract myself from my doom and gloom thoughts of skin cancer by asking the doctor as she was leaving if she could recommend anything for my toenails.

You mean lasers? she asked. She has a lucrative cosmetic side business at her practice, evidenced by the crystal chandeliers in the waiting room.

LASERS? No, I've just been confronted with the possibility of melanin cells gone horribly wild. I think I'll reduce my exposure to high-power energy beams, thank you.

The doctor, who by this point is ready to leave for her next patient, kind of halfheartedly mentions she's received free samples of an oil based toe nail lotion that her mom raves about and that I'm free to try for a month if I promise to come back and have her evaluate the success. I say sure.

So every day, twice a day, I am painting my little piggies with oil based anti-fungal in "sweet almond oil and rice brand oil." I'm taking daily photos, too. So far (4 days) the family thinks they see a difference, but then again I think if I'd painted them twice a day in Wesson oil they'd look good, too. All moisturized and pampered.

It's not skin cancer.

Those are reassuring words, aren't they?

I went in this week for my first ever, full body dermatological skin check. After stripping practically naked, I stretched on the table and had my nooks and crannies checked under high powered magnifying glass by the suma cum laude graduate of Notre Dame and honor graduate of the University of Chicago medical school. I tell you this because there was nothing much to look at during this 15 minute process than read the many diplomas gorgeously frame on the wall. There was mood music, too. Like tropical rainfall and bird song. I suppose this is mean to relax you but it tended to lend a pretty surreal experience.

I had gone in to see the doctor because of a strange little spot on the back of my calf. It turned out to be nothing (a "dermatofibroid") but apparently a permanent little something. The little black mark that looked like a bruise and was caused by an insect bite or ingrown hair is common on the calves of women my age, but once it develops, it never goes away. Nice, huh?

Then the doctor says, "what's this?" and points to the back of my thigh, something I cannot see on my own without a mirror and a few yoga moves. She circles it in purple and leaves to get prepped to remove it.  I'm left in a paper sheet twisting knots to see this new spot. I can only see part of it, and it looks like one of those pictures on Google of a melanoma (kind of weird shaped, different colors, flat, about the size of a finger tip).

I freak.

I've been waiting three days to get the pathology report, alternating between thinking it's nothing and googling the death rates of melanomas. Today I got the blessed ALL CLEAR. It turns out it's a "Clark's Nevus" which is a fancy way of saying a strange looking mole and not cancer. Dermatologists don't like strange looking moles. This one will need a punch excision (meaning they are going to use a surgical cookie cutter on it and put in three stitches) to make sure it is all taken out. As a side note, my son had a very large congenital nevus removed at age 2 from his leg. My mom has a birthmark on her thigh which in retrospect is likely a Clark's nevus as well. The doctor said these run in families. So there. 

PS: I'd recommend not googling for Clark's nevus. The photos are really awful and disturbing. Mine was not like those. It was rather cute. Like me.

Dominick's eCoupons: how to double up on savings without clipping

I learned something new today about how to save money at Dominick's that I wanted to share with you.

You know your Dominck's preferred shopper card? Did you know you can load e-coupons onto that card from the web (Cellfire.com and Coupons.com are two I use). The e-coupons load with a click, and are redeemed instantly at the checkout when you use your card to pay (or enter your phone number if you've forgotten your card). Every week new e-coupons show up and you go in and click to add those, too. The coupons have expiration dates of a few weeks. Don't redeem the e-coupon and it disappears when it expires.

Seems straightforward, right? Well, here's the catch. I learned today over at couponerswanted.com that sometimes Dom's has more than one of the same e-coupon online. Say for example, this week there's a Bisquick e-coupon for 50c/1. You load it to your card. In two weeks there's another one, but with a different expiration date. You load that one to your card. Now your card has two Bisquick e-coupons on it, with two different expiration dates. Take it to the store and buy ONE Bisquick and BOTH e-coupons come off ($1 in this case). Both coupons are now removed from your card.

Add to this savings by taking in a manufacturer's paper coupon for Bisquick (check coupontom.com for sources) and now you have even more savings.

You can also print your list of e-coupons from cellfire.com or coupons.com to jog your memory and compare to the weekly sales ads.

Pretty cool, huh? I learned something new today.

PS: this program does not work at Jewel

My thoughts exactly: why can't I buy girl scout cookies year round?

Webelos Mommy: go big or go home

I seriously rock this outfit. I am the coolest, cutest den leader around. I know you were thinking that. I really do.  PS: I got the matching socks.

I’ve Found Heaven . . . in Northern Michigan - Mona Charen - National Review Online

Well, I'm not certain CATHERINE has, but this is our new goal for 2011 summer camp. It gives us a challenge and a purpose for the year. This mom blogged about it. I'm posting it here as well.

I’ve Found Heaven . . . in Northern Michigan - Mona Charen - National Review Online

2010 VBS Slide Show!

Was it only a week long? It seemed a lot longer. My kids weren't ready for it to end!  I've uploaded a bunch of photos into slide.com (see below) to share. Enjoy!