This little piggy has toe nail fungus!
Oh stop it. It's not that big a deal. I've had it for 25 year. YEARS. My two first toes on each foot look pretty bad, but it doesn't hurt, it isn't going to kill me, and it doesn't really bother me that much. OK it bothers me a little. They peel, they look kinda yucky, but it isn't like I'm growing a slab of Swiss cheese on each foot.
By the way, do not Google this one either, not when you've just eaten. Some people seriously need to see a doctor.
While at the dermatologist (see post below), I thought I'd distract myself from my doom and gloom thoughts of skin cancer by asking the doctor as she was leaving if she could recommend anything for my toenails.
You mean lasers? she asked. She has a lucrative cosmetic side business at her practice, evidenced by the crystal chandeliers in the waiting room.
LASERS? No, I've just been confronted with the possibility of melanin cells gone horribly wild. I think I'll reduce my exposure to high-power energy beams, thank you.
The doctor, who by this point is ready to leave for her next patient, kind of halfheartedly mentions she's received free samples of an oil based toe nail lotion that her mom raves about and that I'm free to try for a month if I promise to come back and have her evaluate the success. I say sure.
So every day, twice a day, I am painting my little piggies with oil based anti-fungal in "sweet almond oil and rice brand oil." I'm taking daily photos, too. So far (4 days) the family thinks they see a difference, but then again I think if I'd painted them twice a day in Wesson oil they'd look good, too. All moisturized and pampered.